Am Married to a GOD

As per Indian custom or Hinduism, the husband is put on par with God. They must worship their husbands like God, even if he is a monster, is promiscuous, and has no redeemable qualities. But those who know my feminist personality also know that I would not say such a thing ever.

To give you a background – We have been married for 8 years now and were best friends for 8 years before that. We’ve never dated each other. I was in and out of relationships and he was my shoulder to cry on and share my boyfriend & parents’ issues with. So, a friend, I could trust with my life, talk without being judged and more importantly, love him were reasons enough for me to sign up for this.

“The most eligible groom” as my mother quoted once. This is how I lost my best friend to marriage.

“Pati bhagwaan ka roop hota hai” – Google also agrees!!!


Well! We are still best friends, it’s just that I don’t get any feedback or suggestions anymore when I bitch about him to HIM.

“ME,” An Average Human is very opinionated, friendly, fun-loving, adventurous, loud, carefree, effervescent, full of life yet difficult to handle.
On the other hand – My “God” is very gullible, easy-going, diplomatic, simpleton, reserved, very friendly, people pleaser, too good to be true.

This realization of being in a divine relationship hit me soon enough.

The first month of marriage, he got me a rose on an anniversary date. Sweet!

The second month, he got 2 roses and this continued for 12 months. When he got 13 roses in the 13th month, I told him, “Babe! Now it has become a routine. So, come up with something new to surprise me.

Oops, what did I do? (Bitch slap moment)

My obedient God stopped surprising me from 14th month.

My “God” is always agreeable and has never questioned any of my decisions. 

Me: Would you like chocolate for lunch?
He: Ya Sure. 
Me: Huh! Like seriously!
You might start to wonder if he even has any opinions of his own.
I guess! He does! But it’s too precious to share with anyone but himself.

Me (In anger): You know what happened today? (And narrate him the entire incident for 20 mins)
He (Calm face): hmmmm….
He is calm like Sea and I am an erupting volcano most of the time. He doesn’t have to do or say anything to please people and I always have to be creative and work on myself to keep people around me happy.
My “God” is such a saint, that he has never had any conflicts with anybody in his life. 

Once, I had a terrible fight with a friend and the best way she could think of taking revenge was calling my God.

She (on the phone): This girl, you are with is horrible! She is a bitch… blah blah. Cooked up numerous stories to convince him “how horrible I am”

10 mins later…

She: You still there!

He: Yes! Are you done?

She: Yeah!

He: Okay! Bye! Have a meeting to attend now.

He hasn’t left my side since we met, (okay! I know that’s what husbands are supposed to do) but if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s a little strange. Because… it makes me wonder sometimes what exactly was he doing before he inserted himself so completely into my life?
Me: I am going with my friends to party this weekend.
He: Okay! When will you be back? 
Me: 2-3 hours or may be late. Not sure. Why?
He: If it’s 3 hours or more, I will watch a movie and if it’s more then I might start a series.
Me: A guilty face!
Him: A happy face (No idea! What does he really do in my absence)
His weekend plans start with me and ends with me. Isn’t that weird? Mostly Men look for a chance to get away from their nagging better half like me! Don’t they???
A lot of people are charming… but not all the time. However, my God is always charming.

My God seemed to be the exact thing you were looking for to boost your spirits following a breakup, sad moments, tough/difficult life, but so much so that it almost seems a little too unbelievable.
It’s like he hopped out of one of the fairy tales or something. It took me a while to understand all these things about him. (Well, 15 years 9 months and seven days to be exact).
And human nature is to doubt when you get something too good to be true! Huh!

So, this is how an average or so, not average human like ME is struggling to sail on the same boat with my GOD. It’s like, I have been offered a bag of $1000 notes with no use!

I think after publishing this one, either I will have too many women/men cursing me for not appreciating the best I have or I will start getting proposals for my “Most wanted Husband”. *wink*



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